Thursday, September 08, 2005
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly..Yes, I would very much love to be independent. After today, I realised how weak am I, how much I rely onto someone.
Given my situation, I know I cannot support myself other than my meals. Shopping, clubbing, partying, etc., gotta wait. How I wished that one day when I open my wardrobe, stacks of cash just bounce and fall on to me, pilling up and leaving only my head visible. I wish, I wish...
I teared when I knew how important home is to me. I teared when I knew that someone whom used vulgarities and violence on me for years, cares deeply for me. I teared when I know that there's someone who's always there for me. I teared when I made everyone worry. I teared when I created trouble. I was saddened and touched to tears..
I haven't been neither a good daughter nor a good sister ever since I got into bad company. I've always wanted to change, but still succumb to temptations. I felt really bad, really really bad.. I want to cry out loud so that the whole world can hear me.
So many things to do. So many things to say, to so many people.
I'm afraid I can't take things easily, but I'm not foolish. I'm just so scared that I'll collapse.
-sighs-